In my previous video, we talked about why some children are failing in their exams. If you have not watched that video, please take 5 minutes to watch it. It will help you understand your children and yourself a bit better too. I would classify it as mandatory viewing for ANY parent.
Hi, my name is Teacher Kean from Teaching Worthy. As a licensed headmaster and HRDF trainer, I’ve helped hundreds of parents and children improve their relationships.
Today, let’s talk about HOW we can help children who are failing in their exams.
DEMONSTRATE AND TEACH OUR CHILDREN HOW TO REGULATE THEIR EMOTIONS
Remember, a person’s success is determined by their emotions. Children will only put in the effort when they can overcome emotions like laziness and fear. As parents, we have to show and teach them to be productive, respectful and organised.
First, we must teach our children that THEY are responsible for the emotions they feel. Yes, bad things happen all the time, but it’s entirely within our control if we want to stay in a bad or lazy mood. We are responsible for taking action and getting back quickly on the road to productivity and positivity.
Secondly, we must guide our children to focus on what they should do NOW or what they MUST do next. To regulate our emotions, we have to stop dwelling on past mistakes and let go of things we cannot control.
In my previous video, I’ve spoken about how it’s important to tell our children what we WANT them to do, instead of telling them what we want them to avoid. You can find the link to that video in the description below.
HELP THEM DEVELOP GOALS AND SHOW THEM THAT THE WORK IS FOR THEIR OWN BENEFIT
Goal setting is one of the most important ingredients for success. As Earl Nightingale said – imagine an airplane has set off with a destination. 999 out of 1000 times the airplane will get to its destination safely. What would happen if an airplane has set off with no destination? Eventually, it would run out of fuel and crash. That’s exactly how our minds work. We drift and burn out if we do not have a clear destination.
As parents, we have a vital role in helping our children develop meaningful goals and ambitions. Then, we have to link their academic performance in school to their long-term ambitions. A word of caution – don’t impose your own expectations and needs on their academic performance. (This means you should avoid using language like “I’m going to be proud if you get good results” or “I’m going to be angry if you fail again”) Such behaviour is damaging to your relationship.
Help our children realise that their performance is not to make us happy or to please us, but is to help them in their journey to achieve their dreams. It is for their own benefit.
STOP APOLOGISING ON THEIR BEHALF
Instead of apologising to your children like this:
We have to do this:
Here are some examples of what to say to our children:
SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP
Finally, seek a personal tutor or look for suitable tuition classes if your children are falling behind academically. AND DO IT EARLY. Many modern education systems are merciless. If your child starts to fall behind in their early academic years, there is a cascading effect which results in your child suffering in future academic years. I CAN’T STRESS THIS ENOUGH, I see it all the time. Often parents come to me a few months before a major exam or checkpoint and expect miracles when in fact their child has been failing for years. They lack the fundamentals from previous years to understand the current syllabus. Some parents don’t want to send their children to tuition because they are afraid their children will be stressed. Well, the truth is, if your child requires help, putting it off is just backloading all the stress to the exam year.
Alright, those are the most important pointers I have for you today. If you feel like your situation is unique or if you require specific advice, please do not hesitate to contact us at www.teachingworthy.com. Thank you, and remember to share these lessons which are worth sharing.